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  • Can people be this stupid?

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  • Gunner

    Member
    30 September 2008 at 7:44 pm

    I know that people can be this stupid…………….

    You’ve been waiting for them with bated breath, so without further ado

    here are the 2008 Darwin awards.

    Eighth Place

    In Detroit , a 41-year-old man got stuck and drowned in two feet of

    water after squeezing head first through an 18-inch-wide sewer grate to

    retrieve his car keys.

    Seventh Place

    A 49-year-old San Francisco stockbroker, who ‘totally zoned when he

    ran,’ accidentally, jogged off a 100-foot high cliff on his daily run.

    Sixth Place

    While at the beach, Daniel Jones, 21, dug an 8 foot hole for protection

    from the wind and had been sitting in a beach chair at the bottom! When

    it t collapsed, burying him beneath 5 feet of sand. People on the beach

    used their hands and shovels trying to get him out but could not reach

    him. It took rescue workers using heavy equipment almost an hour to

    free him. Jones was pronounced dead at a hospital.

    Fifth Place

    Santiago Alvarado, 24, was killed as he fell through the ceiling of a

    bicycle shop he was burglarizing. Death was caused when the long

    flashlight he had placed in his mouth to keep his hands free rammed

    into the base of his skull as he hit the floor.

    Fourth Place

    Sylvester Briddell, Jr., 26, was killed as he won a bet with friends

    who said he would not put a revolver loaded with four bullets into his

    mouth and pull the trigger.

    Third Place

    After stepping around a marked police patrol car parked at the front

    door, a man walked into H&J Leather & Firearms intent on robbing the

    store. The shop was full of customers and a uniformed officer was

    standing at the counter. Upon seeing the officer, the would-be robber

    announced a hold-up! and fired a few wild shots from a target pistol.

    The officer and a clerk promptly returned fire, and several customers

    also drew their guns and fired. The robber was pronounced dead at the

    scene by Paramedics. Crime scene investigators located 47 expended

    cartridge cases in the shop. The subsequent autopsy revealed 23 gunshot

    wounds. Ballistics identified rounds from 7 different weapons. No one

    else was hurt.

    HONOURABLE MENTION

    Paul Stiller, 47, and his wife Bonnie were bored just driving around at

    2 A.M. so they lit a quarter stick of dynamite to toss out the window

    to see what would happen. Apparently they failed to notice the window

    was closed.

    RUNNER UP

    Kerry Bingham had been drinking with several friends when one of them

    said they knew a person who had bungee-jumped from a local bridge in

    the middle of traffic. The conversation grew more heated and at least

    10 men trooped along the walkway of the bridge at 4:30 AM. Upon arrival

    at the midpoint of the bridge they discovered that no one had brought a

    bungee rope. Bingham, who had continued drinking, volunteered and

    pointed out that a coil of lineman’s cable, lay near by. They secured

    one end around Bingham’s leg and then tied the other ! ;to the bridge.

    His fall lasted 40 feet before the cable tightened and tore his foot

    off at the ankle.. He miraculously survived his fall into the icy water

    and was rescued by two nearby fishermen. Bingham’s foot was never

    located.

    AND THE WINNER IS…

    Zookeeper Friedrich Riesfeldt ( Paderborn, Germany) fed his constipated

    elephant 22 doses of animal laxative and more than a bushel of berries,

    figs and prunes before the plugged-up pachyderm finally got relief.

    Investigators say ill-fated Friedrich, 46, was attempting to give the

    ailing elephant an olive oil enema when the relieved beast unloaded.

    The sheer force of the elephant’s unexpected defecation knocked Mr.

    Riesfeldt to the ground where he struck his head on a rock as the

    elephant continued to evacuate 200 pounds of dung on top of him.

  • Jez

    Member
    30 September 2008 at 7:46 pm

    AND THE WINNER IS…

    Zookeeper Friedrich Riesfeldt ( Paderborn, Germany) fed his constipated

    elephant 22 doses of animal laxative and more than a bushel of berries,

    figs and prunes before the plugged-up pachyderm finally got relief.

    Investigators say ill-fated Friedrich, 46, was attempting to give the

    ailing elephant an olive oil enema when the relieved beast unloaded.

    The sheer force of the elephant’s unexpected defecation knocked Mr.

    Riesfeldt to the ground where he struck his head on a rock as the

    elephant continued to evacuate 200 pounds of dung on top of him.

    😆 He was in deep shit there!

  • unklehomer

    Member
    30 September 2008 at 10:56 pm

    Crime scene investigators located 47 expended

    cartridge cases in the shop. The subsequent autopsy revealed 23 gunshot

    wounds.

    47/23

    thats half…

    So ina gun shop, which can’t have been too big. Not only did they all execute someone,as opposed to just talking him down, but in a shop, smallish space, the ability of these patriots to hit a man sized target was 50%!!!

    yes, these people should be allowed guns. absolutely!

  • mr-marty-martin

    Member
    1 October 2008 at 8:14 pm

    😆 the bike shop one, i love the word burglarizing

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