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  • The parrot.

     SeanO updated 12 years ago 3 Members · 3 Posts
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  • Gunner

    Member
    17 January 2009 at 7:56 pm

    A young man named John received a parrot as a gift. The

    parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary.

    Every word out of the bird’s mouth was rude, obnoxious

    and laced with profanity. John tried and tried to change

    the bird’s attitude by consistently saying only polite

    words, playing soft music and anything else he could think

    of to clean up the bird’s vocabulary.

    Finally, John was fed up and he yelled at the parrot. The

    parrot yelled back. John shook the parrot and the parrot

    got angrier and even ruder. John, in desperation, threw up

    his hand, grabbed the bird and put him in the freezer. For

    a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed.

    Then suddenly there was total quiet. Not a peep was heard

    for over a minute.

    Fearing that he’d hurt the parrot, John quickly open

    the door to the freezer, the parrot calmly stepped out

    onto John’s outstretched arms and said, “I believe

    I may have offended you with my rude language and actions.

    I’m sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate

    transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can

    to correct my rude and unforgivable behaviour.”

    John was stunned at the change in the bird’s

    attitude. As he was about to ask the parrot what had made

    such a dramatic change in his behaviour, the bird

    continued, “May I ask what the turkey did?”

    🙄 🙄

  • Steve Kish

    Member
    17 January 2009 at 8:43 pm

    Follow-up rude parrot gag!

    Bloke goes into into a petshop and asks for a parrot that speaks well. Assistant says that he’s only got one left. Great talker but has no legs.

    Bloke – ‘So how does he stay on the perch?’

    Assistant – ‘Well, he’s quite gifted in the trouser-snake department, so he wraps it around the perch and balances there’

    Bloke buys the parrot and about a week later gets home from work

    Parrot starts – ‘Squawk – your wife – your wife’

    Bloke – ‘What about my wife?’

    Parrot – ‘Squawk – your wife – your wife …. and the milkman’

    Bloke – ‘What about my wife and the milkman?’

    Parrot – ‘Squawk – your wife and the milkman, on the sofa’

    Bloke – ‘Then what?’

    Parrot – ‘Squawk – your wife and the milkman, on the sofa, clothes off’

    Bloke – ‘Then what?’

    Parrot – ‘Squawk – your wife and the milkman, on the sofa, clothes off, kissing and cuddling’

    Bloke – ‘Oh my God – what happened then?’

    Parrot – ‘Dunno – I got a hard-on and fell off the perch!!

    😛 😛 😛

  • SeanO

    Member
    17 January 2009 at 9:16 pm

    😆 😆 😆 😆 😆

    I’m still laughing, best one yet I think!!

    Thanks guys.

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