The parrot.

[Gunner]

A young man named John received a parrot as a gift. The

parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary.

Every word out of the bird’s mouth was rude, obnoxious

and laced with profanity. John tried and tried to change

the bird’s attitude by consistently saying only polite

words, playing soft music and anything else he could think

of to clean up the bird’s vocabulary.

Finally, John was fed up and he yelled at the parrot. The

parrot yelled back. John shook the parrot and the parrot

got angrier and even ruder. John, in desperation, threw up

his hand, grabbed the bird and put him in the freezer. For

a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed.

Then suddenly there was total quiet. Not a peep was heard

for over a minute.

Fearing that he’d hurt the parrot, John quickly open

the door to the freezer, the parrot calmly stepped out

onto John’s outstretched arms and said, “I believe

I may have offended you with my rude language and actions.

I’m sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate

transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can

to correct my rude and unforgivable behaviour.”

John was stunned at the change in the bird’s

attitude. As he was about to ask the parrot what had made

such a dramatic change in his behaviour, the bird

continued, “May I ask what the turkey did?”

🙄 🙄

[Steve Kish]

Follow-up rude parrot gag!

Bloke goes into into a petshop and asks for a parrot that speaks well. Assistant says that he’s only got one left. Great talker but has no legs.

Bloke – ‘So how does he stay on the perch?’

Assistant – ‘Well, he’s quite gifted in the trouser-snake department, so he wraps it around the perch and balances there’

Bloke buys the parrot and about a week later gets home from work

Parrot starts – ‘Squawk – your wife – your wife’

Bloke – ‘What about my wife?’

Parrot – ‘Squawk – your wife – your wife …. and the milkman’

Bloke – ‘What about my wife and the milkman?’

Parrot – ‘Squawk – your wife and the milkman, on the sofa’

Bloke – ‘Then what?’

Parrot – ‘Squawk – your wife and the milkman, on the sofa, clothes off’

Bloke – ‘Then what?’

Parrot – ‘Squawk – your wife and the milkman, on the sofa, clothes off, kissing and cuddling’

Bloke – ‘Oh my God – what happened then?’

Parrot – ‘Dunno – I got a hard-on and fell off the perch!!

😛 😛 😛

[SeanO]

😆 😆 😆 😆 😆

I’m still laughing, best one yet I think!!

Thanks guys.