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  • Two ways to come home late and drunk on a bike ……

     Steve Kish updated 12 years ago 1 Member · 1 Post
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  • Steve Kish

    8 January 2009 at 7:15 pm

    First way.

    1. Quietly approach the front door and coast the last 50 yards to avoid brake squeal.

    2. Gingerly place the bike against the fence and lick the key to avoid it being heard when inserting into the lock.

    3. Gently open the door and remove shoes, taking great care to avoid the cat.

    4. Creep up the stairs, feet against the edges to avoid floorboard squeak.

    5. Silently undress and creep between the sheets – whatever you do, DON’T make even the slightest bodily contact.

    This doesn’t work – after seconds – ‘Where the fuggin’ ‘ell have you been?’


    Second way

    1. Accelerate to full speed in 44 x 12 and slam on the anchors for max. tyre and brake block squeal – crashing into your dustbin helps! 😛

    2. Throw the bike loudly against the fence whilst shouting ‘Where’s that bloody key!’

    3. Open door and kick it loudly so that it hits the wall – find the cat and tread on it’s tail.

    4. Kick off shoes, preferably again the coffee table.

    5. Rush up the stairs removing clothes whilst shouting:-

    ‘Ker-ist, that saddle must be wrongly adjusted – I’ve got such a h@rd-on!’

    Penny to a pound that she’ll pretend to be fast asleep ❗ 😉 😀

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